Anxiety can feel like it’s always lurking in the background, ready to take over when things get overwhelming.
We’ve all been there—feeling like we’re doing our best, yet still feeling frazzled and stressed. But here’s the thing: anxiety is often running the show in ways we don’t even realise.
So, why does it feel like anxiety is in control?
Let’s take a deep dive into the common reasons and explore how you can regain control over your life, your mind, and your peace of mind.
1. You’re Doing Too Much with No Real "Downtime"
We live in a world where “hustling” is glorified, and the pressure to do more can be constant. Between work, family obligations, social media, and the never-ending to-do lists, it can feel like you’re always moving. But here's the reality check: scrolling through your phone or watching mindless TV isn't real downtime.
Real downtime is when you fully disconnect from your daily obligations and let your mind and body rest. If you aren’t allowing yourself this kind of break, your nervous system stays in “go-mode,” and this constant state of stimulation can leave you feeling more anxious than rested. Without true relaxation, your brain doesn’t get a chance to process the stress you’ve accumulated throughout the day. That means it piles up, contributing to feelings of anxiety.
The Solution:
Try carving out time each day for real downtime – even if it’s just 15-30 minutes. Engage in activities that truly rejuvenate you, like reading, taking a walk in nature, meditating, or simply sitting quietly without the distraction of screens. These moments of rest help reset your system and manage anxiety in a healthy way.
2. Your Stress Bucket is Full
We all have what’s known as a “stress bucket.” It’s a metaphor for the mental, emotional, and physical stress we experience.
Every time something stressful happens—whether it’s a deadline at work, an argument with a loved one, or feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities—your stress bucket fills up a little bit more.
When you don't empty the stress bucket regularly, it starts to overflow, and that’s when anxiety shows up. What often happens is that we go about our daily lives thinking we’re managing just fine.
However, when that bucket is full, it only takes one small thing to tip us over the edge. Anxiety becomes the loudest voice, often triggered by something that might seem small but is actually the last drop in an already full bucket.
The Solution:
Make time for stress relief every day, whether it’s a few minutes of deep breathing, exercising, journaling, or talking to a friend. Make sure sleep is a priority…REM sleep is one of the ways we empty that stress bucket.
It’s important to regularly check in with yourself, notice how full your stress bucket is, and take steps to keep it from overflowing. The small acts of self-care can make a huge difference in managing your anxiety.
3. You’re Not Living by Your Values
We all have values that guide us in life. Whether it’s a love for nature, the importance of helping others, or the need for creativity, our values define who we are. But here’s the kicker—when your day-to-day life isn’t aligned with these values, it can create a sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction that contributes to anxiety.
For example, if one of your core values is nature and you’ve spent all week indoors, working on your computer and having little interaction with others, it’s no wonder you’re feeling drained. That misalignment between your daily reality and what truly feeds your soul can make you feel out of balance.
The Solution:
Take a moment to reflect on your values. Are you living in alignment with them? If not, make conscious changes to introduce more of what matters to you into your routine. For instance, if helping others is a core value, dedicate time each week to volunteer or offer support. If nature is important to you, schedule regular walks outside. Living in alignment with your values can reduce feelings of anxiety and restore a sense of purpose.
4. Your Brain is Programmed for the "Worst-Case Scenario"
Did you know we have approximately 80,000 thoughts every single day? What’s even more interesting (and a bit frustrating) is that around 70,000 of those thoughts are recycled from the day before. And guess what most of them are? Worries about things going wrong.
Our brains are wired to focus on the worst-case scenario—this is an evolutionary trait designed to keep us safe. However, this constant focus on potential danger, failure, or disappointment can create an ongoing loop of anxiety. The result? Your brain starts to habitually fixate on negative outcomes instead of opportunities, and you end up feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
The Solution:
Start being more aware of your thought patterns. When you notice yourself spiralling into worst-case scenarios, pause and ask yourself, "Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?"
Use on of my techniques from 9 Tools and techniques to help reduce anxiety.
Redirect your thoughts to something positive or grounding, like deep breathing or a mindful activity. Reprogramming your brain takes time, but it’s possible—and you can begin by simply shifting your focus from fear to possibility.
5. You’re Not Giving Yourself Enough Grace
The truth is, many of us have unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Whether it's striving for perfection at work or trying to meet everyone’s needs, it’s easy to put pressure on yourself to be “on” all the time. Unfortunately, this leaves little room for mistakes, rest, or simply being human—and that’s a setup for anxiety.
Perfectionism is one of the biggest culprits when it comes to creating anxiety. If you expect yourself to always be perfect and never make mistakes, you set yourself up for a constant cycle of stress and disappointment.
The Solution:
Start giving yourself the grace you deserve. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Allow yourself to make mistakes, rest when needed, and celebrate your progress, not just your achievements. Embrace imperfection, and you’ll feel more at ease and less anxious.
Time to Take Back Control
Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life. By recognizing these common triggers and taking small steps toward healing and balance, you can reclaim your peace of mind. It’s about making space for rest, living in alignment with your values, breaking the cycle of negative thinking, and, most importantly, giving yourself the grace to simply be.
You don’t have to face anxiety alone—start making these shifts today, and if you need support, I’m here to help. Whether it’s through coaching or mindset work, we can break free from the patterns that feed anxiety and create a life of inner peace.
Ready to feel more grounded and less anxious? Download my FREE PDF 9 tools and techniques to help reduce anxiety.
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